A new top-level LEED classification called Unobtanium is being proposed to replace the currently proposed Protactinium level, leading to a possible schism in the growing green building rating system. Whether Protactinium or Unobtanium becomes the new top-level of the LEED rating system…?
Earlier this year, officials proposed a new level of LEED (Leadership in Energy and Environmental Design) that is higher than the current top-end Platinum rating. The new Protactinium level introduces more stringent requirements to ensure the purity of the design team and to verify their worthiness to obtain such a noble rating for their building.
In order to qualify for the standard, building designers must commit to a lifetime of celibacy and staff the building exclusively with doe-eyed orphans from third world countries. The building must be a net CO2 sink, producing more oxygen than it consumes. Any bamboo used in construction must be certified panda-free. In the event that straw bale construction is used, the straw must be free-range, sustainably harvested straw.
The building must also levitate above the ground to preserve the site for future use. Only free-range, sustainably harvested electromagnets may be used to levitate the building. The electromagnets should also give back 10% of their energy to levitate doe-eyed orphans in third world countries.
The modular “block” kitten insulation system (pictured above) will be used in standard 6-inch wall construction, and should be up to 50% cuter than other insulation systems presently on the market.
Further discussion about the merits of Protatinium level LEED, including the initial proposal and commentary from a range of professionals, can be found on the architectural discussion site Archinect.
Earlier coverage from Treehugger.
(Kudos to moose drool [whose handle happens to rhyme with April Fools, too!] for the initial protactinium outline.)
love the cats
Where does one find certified panda free bamboo?
love the cats
Where does one find certified panda free bamboo?
I’m just howling at this, Philip… nicely done!
I’m just howling at this, Philip… nicely done!
unobtainium… thats the said same mineral we used to reach the core when it stopped spinning and almost destroyed the earth in 2003. fun times…
unobtainium… thats the said same mineral we used to reach the core when it stopped spinning and almost destroyed the earth in 2003. fun times…
I really can’t take credit for this. The original poster from Archinect (and the follow-up discussion) was what made this.
@ Joel: I think almost all bamboo from Canada is certified panda-free.
I really can’t take credit for this. The original poster from Archinect (and the follow-up discussion) was what made this.
@ Joel: I think almost all bamboo from Canada is certified panda-free.
Very funny post…. hm… a house of kittens… excellent.
Very funny post…. hm… a house of kittens… excellent.
The requirement for panda-free bamboo is a serious impediment to the business of building a LEED-Unobtanium rated building and lacks flexibility. I suggest offsetting any bamboo use with panda-credits that could be traded on the international market.
Benjamin
The requirement for panda-free bamboo is a serious impediment to the business of building a LEED-Unobtanium rated building and lacks flexibility. I suggest offsetting any bamboo use with panda-credits that could be traded on the international market.
Benjamin
Thank goodness someone came up with a use for those darn cats! Where do I apply to have my cats converted? Do I get a tax credit?
Thank goodness someone came up with a use for those darn cats! Where do I apply to have my cats converted? Do I get a tax credit?
LOL! I just became a LEED AP (thanks to Clean Edison!!) and I have to say you had me fooled! This is hilarious, I was about to throw a tantrum thinking I had to retake another test because of the “new” ratings till I kept reading..thanks for my laugh of the day
LOL! I just became a LEED AP (thanks to Clean Edison!!) and I have to say you had me fooled! This is hilarious, I was about to throw a tantrum thinking I had to retake another test because of the “new” ratings till I kept reading..thanks for my laugh of the day